Goodbye For Now, Not Forever
by xXSEmCSoriaXx
Summary: Maya has spiraled out of control after Cam's death, maybe all she needs to move past it is a little closure. Just a one-shot unless people are interested in me expanding it :)


**I uploaded this Camaya one shot to my tumblr account ( SEmCSoria add it :) ), and I thought I'd throw it on this account too so I can get it out there a bit more, so let me know what you think :)**

Maya stumbled into her room, there was a loud thud and she looked to the floor to see her cello.

"Whatever," she mumbled to herself. Good thing her parents weren't in town and Katie could sleep through an earthquake.

She clutched onto her bottle for dear life. She tried remembering what it was, who gave it to her. She shrugged it off immediately, she didn't really care. She stumbled a bit and laughed to herself, then she checked her phone, only 1:36.

Maya looked into her mirror, she left that party way too early, but Tori was quite frankly pissing her off, telling her what everyone else was of late, "Maya this isn't you," she mocked Tori's words to no one. She stared at herself, "This is the new me," she said while fixing her hair,

She got up and started to walk around, taking a drink every so often. She then fell back on her bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to count all the bumps, but she kept screwing up, causing her to stop.

Her head fell to the side and then she saw it, a picture of the two of them sitting against some lockers; she was wearing a hoodie of his, sitting between his legs, his arms were wrapped tightly around her, she was smiling while looking down at his hands, he was looking at her so happily. Tears started to form in her eyes but she blinked them away, remembering her promise to herself, _I won't cry, I won't."_

Her thoughts were interrupted by her door shutting. She rolled her eyes, raised her bottle for a drink, and propped herself onto her elbows.

"Looook Katie," she slurred out. She looked up and her face immediately dropped as she was staring him in the eyes for the first time since _it _happened.

She scoffed and stood with a stumble.

"What the hell," she paused to take a drink, "Do _you_ want? Huh?" She slurred the last part ut.

"Maya," he said softly, "What are you doing with yourself?" He asked. "This isn't you," he added.

She let out a dry laugh.

"_You're _judging _me_? Really Saunders? Don't even talk. You're the _last_ person who gets to say that," she spit out.

He looked down at his feet, sadness in his eyes. She noticed this and felt a little guilty.

She reached out to touch his arm, "Cam, I'm sorry."

He drew a breathe in and put his hands in his pants pockets, "No," he said, "You're right." He started to walk around her room. "I mean, I killed myself, so I don't get to care about you anymore right?"

Maya started to get angry again, "You car about me? How does that even work? You're _dead._"

Nothing but silence followed between the two. he clenched his jaw shut to stop from crying, and she started to shake, realizing she wouldn't be able to hold back her tears any longer.

Cam was looking down again as he heard something go just past his head into the wall behind him. He looked back and saw it was the bottle Maya had been holding. He looked forward again to see her breathing heavy, tears streaming down her face, as she marched towards her bedside table and reached for something.

"Maya calm down," Cam said walking hastily over to her.

"This," she grabbed a picture frame, quite obviously ignoring what he had said. "Was _this, _all some big lie? I wasn't enough, so this was some way to pass the time until you made such _selfish, stupid _decision?!" She said while raising her voice.

Cam was now in front of her and she thrust the frame into his chest, walking past him. He held it and looked at the picture of he and Maya against some random lockers at Degrassi, tears forming in his eyes for the second time that night.

He turned around to face her, still holding the frame. She was leaning against her dresser staring at him. "Maya, I - " his voice was cracking and he stopped, slowly going towards her again, stopping between her dresser and her door.

She started to sob, "Are you _happy_ now?" She cried while shaking.

And the truth was, he wasn't. He saw how everyone was reacting, how they coped. And it was more painful to him than bleeding out overnight in the greenhouse was. Now, he was powerless unless he chose to appear to the few select people he could.

Maya kept crying and went to push past him to leave the room, but he realized how he let her get away once, and then how he left her. He remembered his promise, that he wasn't going to let her get away that easy, and he wasn't going to let that happen, not again. So as she pushed into him to go past, he held himself in place, not letting her go.

"Cam, move," she said pushing once more.

"No,"

"Move, now!" She kept pushing, obviously more frustrated.

"I'm not moving Maya."

"CAM, MOVE, NOW!" She said again, hitting him in the chest over and over, pushing and pushing, but he stayed in his place and took it. He grabbed her one arm with the hand not holding their picture and pulled her into him, wrapping her in both of his arms.

She finally gave up and threw her arms around his waist, pulling him into a hug she never wanted to let go of, crying into his chest.

"Cam. Why?" She asked as she cried. "How could you do this to me, us?"

He could feel her body weight dropping like she was going to collapse. He saw a chair behind her so he went to sit her in it. He then saw her cello on the floor beside her and picked it up, leaning it against the wall.

"Okay, okay Maya, just, I just wanted to be happy, and I didn't know, I didn't know what to do," he said while kneeling in front of her, tucking some hair behind her ear. He took her face in one hand and one of her hands in the other. "I miss you everyday M, and I'm sorry okay? I know that that doesn't fix this, nothing can. But...look you know I love you. I could never tell you that enough."

They look ed in each others eyes for a moment and then Cam leaned in to kiss her. And all either of them could think of when their lips touched was how much they missed each other, and how much they wished things could be like they were before.

When they parted, they touched their foreheads together, she put her hands around his neck and he put his on her hips. They stayed like that for a little while, just looking at each other.

Cam out of nowhere stood up without a word and started looking around.

"Where's Hoot?" He asked.

"Um, in, in my closet," she stuttered out.

He went to her closet wordlessly until he found Hoot. he came out and handed him to Maya.

"You know about the little zipper pocket right?" He asked.

"Um, yeah, I used to sneak little bits of candy into camp with it," she said while wiping old tears.

He looked at her and chuckled after she said that, all he could think of was how adorable she was.

"Unzip it," he said.

She did as he said and reached in to find a little C charm in it.

"I was thinking about you on break when I was in Kapuskasing, and I saw it. I was just going to wait until you played next to give it to you," he said with a nervous laugh.

Maya put Hoot down and held the charm, looking at it with a sad smile. She put it down to and pulled Cam into a tight hug once more that just took her breathe away.

She peered at her clock; 2:30. It had only been an hour, she had to go to school in the morning though. She grabbed Campbell's hand and went over to her bed, laying down with him at her side.

He smiled at her looking right into her eyes while moving his hands up and down her arm while facing her, "You know I'll always be here with you right? Even if I'm not, here."

"I know Cheesy," she said while looking him over, remembering very detail - the cute mole above his lip, the way his hair swayed perfectly to the left, the way his eyes looked at her - just in case she never saw him again after tonight.

He chuckled and flipped on to his back, looking at her with an arm around her. "You know I hate that name right?"

She propped up, leaning on his chest and looked in his eyes, "Too bad," she teased, sticking her tongue out at him.

"I love you My."

"I love you too Campbell," she said snuggling into his chest, slowly drifting to sleep.

As Maya woke up the next morning the first thing that hit her was the pounding headache, followed by the events of the previous night. She flipped over to find herself alone in her bed.

"Must've been a dream," she said sadly with a sigh. That was when she realized the sweater she was wearing, that she most definitely did not fall asleep in, that he was wearing last night. And then the picture and Hoot on the dresser across the room, and the broken bottle on the floor.

She immediately sprung up and over to the dresser, and there it was, the charm. A small smile formed on her lips.

Sadly, this was cut short by Katie knocking on her door telling her they were leaving in an hour.

Maya ran into the bathroom for a quick shower. She dried her hair really quickly and put on some light make-up, opposed to the pounds she'd been wearing for the past month or so. She ran into her room and threw on some jeans and a sweater with flats, nothing special. The only add-on would be the charm bracelet she hadn't worn since everything, with the new charm from Cam that would soon be on it. She smiled while holding it and then ran downstairs.

Katie turned around looking stunned.

"You look, uh..."

"Why thank you Katie, you've always had a way with words," Maya giggled.

Katie was quite clearly taken aback. She had not seen this Maya since Cam's death. But she wouldn't complain, it had been a while since she saw that smile plastered on her sister's face.

Her eyes dropped to the bracelet with an unattached charm sitting beside it on the counter. Katie opened her mouth to question it, but she decided not to.

"Did you, um, need help getting that on?" Katie asked.

Maya looked at her sister and then smiled, "Yeah, that be nice. Would you mind putting my charm on to?"

"Of course," Katie smiled at her.

"Tori!" Maya yelled after her best friend, "Tori, please, wait!"

Tori turned around to face Maya, her lip in a thin line across her face. But when she saw Maya, looking like her old self again, her angry face was replaced with that of shock.

"Look, Tor, I know I was a huge bitch and I'm sorry, I've been really messed up and I just, it's not going to happen anymore okay? I'm done and I'm just so sorry," Maya finished having to gasp for air.

Tori pulled her into a hug, "It's fine alright?" She said squeezing her best friend.

They pulled apart, "I'm loving all of _this _way more by the way," Tori laughed referring to Maya's look.

"Yeah it feels waaay better," Maya said back.

Just then the bell rang.

"Well, better get to history right?" Tori said.

"Yeah for sure," Maya replied watching Tori walk into the room, leaving her alone in the empty hallway.

"Better get going," a familiar voice said beside her while smiling.

She smiled back, "Yeah, I guess."

He walked towards her and kissed her cheek, his hand dropping to the new charm on her bracelet, and then he started to walk away, her eyes following his every step.

He stopped and turned back to her, same smile, "Don't worry M, I'll be back. I'm never going to leave you again for good."

They smiled at one another as he started walking backwards, waving goodbye to her, and then he disappeared.

She smiled to herself, knowing it was just a goodbye for now, not goodbye forever.


End file.
